Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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