Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
how does that bad decision feel?
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