im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So apparently I’m into choking now
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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