i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
