last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
