I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
