and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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