Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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