just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
