There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
