So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
