Me too!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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