grandma shit on top of the toilet
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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