well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
