Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
