Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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