I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
