Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
