Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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