it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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