Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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