You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
