I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
