he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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