Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize