I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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