think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
