I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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