this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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