you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
