Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
