the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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