She is in my trunk
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The best revenge is premature balding
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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