Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
another moral hangover. fuck.
It's Friday. Sex?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
