yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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