i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
