Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
