You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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