I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
