we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize