mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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