i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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