Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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