Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
pray to the hookup gods
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
