I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
