I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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