First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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