I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
her vagine was all disorganized.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
