The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
