I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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