I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
