im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
