My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
