dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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