Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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