we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
