Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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