Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
