So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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