Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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