I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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