im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I look better un-naked...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
